


I Did A Dumb

by DeweyIggyZuki



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Juggey - Freeform, Mavin, Onesided Mavin, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-21
Updated: 2014-01-16
Packaged: 2017-12-30 02:35:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1013020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeweyIggyZuki/pseuds/DeweyIggyZuki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why is it that whenever i find someone, their life is already at full speed, heading straight for that future they so dearly want?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Falling

_Why?_

_Why is it that whenever I find someone- someone who truly seems to be the person I want, that ideal human being who I could see myself spending infinities with- their life is already in at full speed, heading straight for the future that they so dearly want?_

_He sits so close- Michael, my lovely little boi- inches away from me. He’s too focused on editing his videos to notice me staring, and I’m thankful for that. During the day, it’s hard to concentrate with him being so- so…_

_So Michael Jones-like. Everything about him sends me over the edge._

_His auburn curls._

_His deep brown eyes._

_His snarky laughter._

_His goofy smile._

_His arms as they wrap themselves around me and tackle me to the ground._

_His face, so beautiful, so perfect in every way._

_His fist whenever we bump ours together. I swear every time we do, it’s a shockwave through my being, his electricity running through me like i was drenched in water. It paralyzes me, his touch._

_He’s all I think about. He fills my thoughts, my dreams, my mind overcome by him. My boi, my Mogar, my Michael._

_Only he’s not mine._

_He’s got someone, someone he wants, someone he loves and who loves him back. Someone he’s going to be happy spending the rest of his life with. Someone to sleep with him on cold winter nights, someone to play video games with until the sun rises, someone who can give him better than I ever could have._

_Someone better than me._

_I’ll never be good enough for him, good enough for anybody. Especially not him._

_The reason I’m drenched in this water is because life is raining down on me, soaking me with cold reminders of our nonexistent future together. But his electricity sets me aflame, paralyzing and burning me. I’m freezing in the windy rain, burning from the flames, shocked from the inside._

_The pain takes me over, leaves me wishing I couldn’t feel anything, that I was numb to it all._

_I don’t want to live in a world without him by my side._

_I can’t do this anymore._

* * *

“Gavin?” Geoff called as he entered the house.

Silence.

He groaned. _Where the fuck is he? I need his help with this Let’s Build…_

He knocked on the door to Gavin’s room. “Gavin? C’mon dipshit, I need your help with this.”

No answer. Geoff pressed his ear to the door and knocked again. He could just barely hear out a soft whimpering.

“Gavin?” Geoff twisted the doorknob, now officially worried.

_Locked… shit._

“Gavin, open the door. Let me in.”

No response from the other side.

“Gavin, open the fucking door! This isn’t a joke!”

Geoff dashed to the kitchen and grabbed a knife. Kneeling at Gavin’s door, he shoved it into the lock, twisting frantically.

It seemed like forever before it finally _clicked_. Geoff shoved the door open.

“Gavin!”

Light flooded the dark room. A form shuddered in the corner, hugging his knees to himself and facing the wall.

“Gav… Gav, I’m coming in.” Geoff hurried over to him, before he tripped over something and landed on his side.

_What the fuck…_ Geoff rubbed his elbow. He looked at the floor around him and froze.

Two empty liquor bottles and several white containers littered the area.

_He’s been drinking… and what are…?_ Geoff picked up a container and read the label.

_Ibuprofen?_

He picked up another that read _Lunesta._

He shook them both. _Empty… shit!_

“W-what are-?”

“G-Geoff,” a shaky, slurring British voice spoke for the first time since Geoff had gotten home.

Geoff whirled around to look at the lad.

Gavin lifted his head up and faced the older man. His eyes were watery, tears streaming down his face. His flyaway hair was matted. He was pale, shaking, and looked like death.

“Geoff,” Gavin repeated, not sounding at all like himself. He turned his whole body around, exposing what he had kept to himself.

Geoff’s eyes widened and he inhaled sharply, an expression of horror on his face.

Gavin’s forearms were covered in slashes, ribboning and crisscrossing across his tanned skin. His wrists were open further than any of the other cuts. Blood stained his clothes, poured out of his damaged skin, covered him in a coating of shining red.

_Gavin…!_

“Geoff, I did a dumb.”


	2. Stumbling

_Gavin sits on his bed, curled up in a blanket. He didn’t go into work today; he wasn’t feeling well at all. His stomach was churning, his head throbbing. He stares at the wall._

_He doesn’t want to sleep; all he dreams about is him, his best friend, the one he loves._

_He wishes it wasn’t love. He wishes it was a crush, something he could easily get over, something that he would laugh about later in life and think, ‘Wow, I sure was an idiot back then, wasn’t I?’_

_But it’s not, it’s not, it might never have been._

_He can’t admit it. Especially not to himself._

_But Gavin Free is in love with Michael Jones._

**_Fuck_ **

_But why? Why him?_

_He can’t love Michael._

_He **can’t**._

_He shoves his face into a pillow, and screams. A muffled noise. Tears begin to run down his face. He digs his fingernails into his palm._

**_I can’t do this anymore._ **

_He suddenly bolts up out of bed._

**_It hurts._ **

_He stumbles out of his room and into the hall._

**_It bloody hurts._ **

_There’s no one home. There’s no one to hear him clamor around the kitchen. No one to hear him yank bottles of liquor down from the shelves. No one to hear him cry out as his anguish takes him over._

**_Why does is hurt?_ **

_No one to hear him chug the liquid down. No one to hear him race to the bathroom. No one to hear him clamor through the cabinets and drawers, pulling out medicine bottles. No one to hear him rush back to his room with his stash in tow._

**_I don’t want to hurt anymore._ **

_No one to hear him as he breaks down._

**_Michael..._ **

_He unscrews the bottles and pours the pills down his throat, washing it down with the liquor. He gags horrifically as each swig forces its way down his throat._

**_I don’t blame you for this._ **

_They’re piling up in his stomach, but he’s not sure it’ll be enough for him. He wants this to end as quickly as possible._

**_No, I don’t. I only have myself to blame._ **

_He rifles through his dresser drawers and pulls out a Swiss Army knife Dan gave him a few years back._

**_Only me._ **

_He digs the knife into the flesh of his wrist. The bite of the blade almost makes him stop, but his desire for the end overpowers his fear. He slices it open, blood flowing freely._

**_I wish it didn’t have to end it this way._ **

_He pushes the knife in several times, making his way up his forearm, until there’s hardly a patch of skin that’s unscathed._

**_I would have quite liked to have spent some more time with you._ **

_Using his other hand, he goes at it on his other arm, tearing through his skin once again._

**_But I’m grateful for what little time we did have together._ **

_He stops when he can no longer hold the blade. He drops it on the bed._

**_I couldn’t have asked for anything better, my boi._ **

_He falls to his knees, slumps into the corner of the room. The tears spill more now, as the pain begins to throb._

**_I wish…_ **

_He turns to face the wall, and hugs his knees to his chest, sobbing._

_“Michael, Michael, my Michael…”_

_The front door opens to the house._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me start off by apologizing for the lack of updates; inspiration/motivation doesn't always come easily to me. so i'm going to attempt (key word- "ATTEMPT") to be more consistent. <3


	3. Dragging

_“911, what is your emergency?”_

“Yes, hello?! I, uh, I need an ambulance here right now!”

_“Sir, can you tell me what happened?”_

“My friend, he- fucking, he did something!  He cut himself up bad, and I don’t even know how many pills he took, and please just send help!”

_“Can you give me an address? And your name, as well as your friend’s?”_

“The blood, oh God…”

_”Sir, please-“_

“Gav, stay with me, please, stay with me…”

* * *

 

Geoff held Gavin in his arms, pressing at his arms, trying to stop the bleeding. Tears blurred his vision, his whole body shaking. The phone had fallen to the floor, the operator sending her commands through the system.

“Gavin, stay with me, buddy,” Geoff’s voice cracked more than it normally did.

Tears streamed down Gavin’s pale face. “I love him,” Gavin whispered.

Geoff stared at him, confused and emotional. “Love who?”

“I love him, Geoff!” Gavin began to cry out, flailing under Geoff’s hold. “I love him! Why can’t- why can’t he- he love m-me?” He began to hiccup.

“G- Gav, you’re not making- ”

“Michael!” Gavin wailed. “Michael! _Michael, why?!”_

Geoff’s face froze over, shock searing through his mind.

“I want my Michael!”

_Gavin…_

* * *

By the time the ambulance came, he’d stopped shouting. He just let the tears fall.

The paramedics press hard on his arms, wrapping them, trying to stop the bleeding. They transfer him to a stretcher with little trouble. He’s hazy, having a hard time registering anything.

Before they lift him in, Gavin grabbed at Geoff’s arm.

“Don’t- don’t tell them what I- don’t tell them I- I- I did it because of him.” He stutters. “Geoff, please.”

Geoff grabbed Gavin’s hand tightly and nodded.

“If you’re coming, you should probably drive behind,” a paramedic told him as she rushed Gavin into the back of the ambulance.

Geoff took another look at Gavin before letting go of his hand. As they closed the doors, he shouted, “See you there!”

The ambulance began to pull away, and Geoff raced to his car, phone already beginning to call with Burnie’s number.

* * *

 

Burnie was responding to emails when Geoff called. He had left work early to check up on Gavin, probably calling to tell him he was gonna stay with Gav for the remainder of the day.

“Hey Geoff, what’s up?” he answered, leaning back in his chair.

“Burnie, you need to come now, it’s Gav, he’s in an ambulance, we’re going to the hospital, he fucking hurt himself while I was gone, I came home and he was just-“

“Woah, Geoff, calm down,” Burnie sat up, suddenly very alert. Geoff sounded frantic, and his tone terrified Burnie. He stood up to grab his jacket. “I’m on my way, now slow down and tell me what happened.”

“I don’t fucking know man, I came home to check on him, and he was in his room, and there were empty booze bottles and pill bottles and there was blood _all over him_ , his arms are torn to shreds and he was crying and- _SHIT!_ ” A car horn beeped and it sounded like Geoff beeped back. “Watch it, asshole!”

Burnie was now in his car, about to back out of the parking lot to Rooster Teeth. “So what’s going on now?” he asked, glancing out the window to see Barbara racing out after him, a handful of papers in her hand.

“He’s in the ambulance and I’m driving behind him and we’re going to the hospital and I can’t do _anything_ to _help him! GODDAMNIT!_ ” Geoff almost screamed in frustration.

Barbara tapped on the window, gesturing to the papers in her hand, which Burnie vaguely recognized as actuality reports. Burnie shook his head quickly. He was about to floor it when she jumped in the car.

“What the hell, Burnie? Where are you- er, where are we going?!” she scrambled for the seatbelt buckle.

“The hospital,” Burnie said, and figuring Barb wouldn’t give let him leave alone, screamed onto the road, turning away from RT.

“What?! Wait, why?! Is someone hurt?! Is someone sick?! What happened?!”

“Gav’s hurt, Barb, and according to Geoff, it’s pretty bad.”

“BAD is an UNDERSTATEMENT!” Geoff’s voice screamed through the car, as the phone was connected through bluetooth.

Barbara’s eyes widened, her face set in disbelief. “That’s-” her hands shook. She couldn’t finish her sentence.

“Geoff, we’re on our way, we’re coming,” Burnie said, pressing the gas pedal.

“I’ve gotta call the others, just meet me in the lobby when you get there. I’m pulling in now.”

“Got it.”

The call ended. Burnie glanced over at Barbara. Her hands were clenched in her lap, and she was looking down.

“He better be fucking okay,” she said, her voice thick with emotion.

“He will be, Barb.”

“He fought long and hard to get where he is today, Burnie. He can’t just give it all up.”

The car was silent for the rest of the ride.

* * *

 

Geoff called Jack next. He and Ryan were filming HUNT, alone in the office, when the call came through. Both men groaned as Jack’s phone started buzzing and Geoff’s caller ID came up.

“We’ll re-record in a minute,” Jack said, picking up the phone. “Hello?”

Ryan heard Geoff screaming about something, and he could clearly pick out the words “Gavin”, “hurt”, “hospital”, “ambulance”, and “blood” among the onslaught of panic.

Jack didn’t ask questions, just nodded, wearing a hard expression.

“Okay, Geoff, we’ll be there soon.”

Ryan raised an eyebrow, and Jack motioned for him to get up. Ryan obeyed, ready to follow Jack to where ever they needed to go.

Jack put the phone in his pocket as he and Ryan rushed out of the Achievement Hunter office.

“What’s wrong with Gavin?” Ryan inquired nervously.

“He’s hurt, Ryan, he really hurt himself,” Jack said bluntly. “We gotta get to the hospital, now.”

Ryan nodded.

* * *

 

Ray walked back into the office to find it empty.

_Weird. Hadn’t Ryan and Jack just been here? Where the fuck did they go?_ He had just gone out to grab a water bottle halfway through them recording audio for HUNT.

His phone vibrated.

“Yello!” he answered. “Ray spea-”

“RAY, GET YOUR ASS TO THE HOSPITAL NOW, GAVIN’S HURT AND-”

“Gavin’s hurt?” Ray interrupted, dropping his bottle. “Let me get a ride, I’ll be right there.” He hung up and dashed out of the office.

He searched for someone, anyone to give him a ride, but most everyone was out for a late lunch that Matt had offered for most of the office.

Not thinking and not caring, he ran out of the building and ran in the direction of the hospital. He’d get there one way or another.

* * *

 

Geoff took a deep breath before dialing the next number.

* * *

 

Michael was in his apartment, picking up his 3DS to play Pokémon with Ray and Gavin later that day.

They'd planned to go to Whataburger for dinner and spend the night hanging out at Ray's place. They were also going to record a Team Lads Minecraft Special, surprise Geoff and the viewers.

His phone rang as he was putting on his hoodie. The ringtone was loud and obnoxious and Geoff's. He fumbled, dropping it as soon as he slid the phone open.

"Fuck!" He shouted, picking up his phone and noticing a notable crack in the screen. " _Yes_ , Geoff?" He made sure to sound as irritable as possible.

"You're going to stop whining and you're going to stop it now because Gavin is seriously hurt and you need to come to the hospital right now."

"Wait, what?!" Michael shouted. "What happened?! Is he okay?!"

"I don't know, Michael. Just please come."

Michael ran out of his apartment. "I'm on my way, Geoff."

"Hurry, please."

The call ended. Michael's thoughts raced, terrified of what could have happened to Gavin.

He jumped into his car where Lindsay sat in the driver’s seat.

"Ready to-"

"Lindsay, we gotta go to the hospital now, Geoff just called me and Gavin- he must've hurt himself or something- he's there and Geoff wants us there."

Lindsay's face fell, and she started driving. "Is he gonna be okay?! What happened??"

Michael gave a worried sigh. "I don't know, Linds. I wish I did, because Geoff sounded like it was really bad. He sounded scared."

Lindsay held Michael's hand with one that wasn't holding the steering wheel. "We'll- wait a sec, is that Ray?!" She looked out the window at a small frame sprinting in the same direction they were driving. He wore an RWBY themed hoodie, jeans, and checkered sneakers. They rolled down the window as they pulled over toward him.

"Ray!" Michael shouted.

Ray looked toward them as he skidded to a stop.

"Guys, I need you to drive me to the hospital, Geoff called me-"

"Get in," Michael unlocked the doors. "He called us, too."

Ray slid in the back seat. "Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, God, just hurry," Ray's voice was cracking as he urged them on.

Lindsay's foot never left the gas.


End file.
